Help Guides - Planning Ahead

People Keep Telling Me to Tell Her It’s OK to Go

People might suggest that you tell your loved one that it’s ok for them to go.  You, on the other hand, may feel it is not at all ok for them to go, and that may be the last thing that you want to say.  While this statement may not be helpful to you (and people are likely to say many, many unhelpful things to you during this time), you can know, at least, that they are saying it out of concern for your loved one.  While you may not feel comfortable telling your loved one that it’s “ok” for them to go, you may find it helpful to tell them that they will not be forgotten.  You might want to tell them about the legacy they will leave: lessons they’ve taught you, ways their influence will remain in the family, things that you will tell your children, and memories you will never forget.  You might thank the person for their role in your life.  Or you may not feel comfortable doing any of these things.  Again, let your history and relationship with the person be your guide.